One of the things I am slowly learning is that fear cannot be the lens through which I see the world. I have spent much of my life living from a place of fear, cautiously trying to plot out worst case scenarios to be avoided. Planning for the worst but hoping for the best. For quite a while I truly believed this was serving me, but in fact it was slowly driving me insane. When you live your life from a place of fear you are constantly suspicious, even when you have no reason to be. My level of fear does not match the situation and most of the time provides an inaccurate view of the world. The truth is we are less in control than we want to think we are. Learning this, odd as it may seem, has helped me. I cannot control what others will do. My actions will not lead to security and safety in an ultimate way. I cannot stop someone from chopping down my door and killing me in my sleep. I can lock the door and know that that is enough. Whatever else comes will come. I cannot control it. I cannot control my life. I can control how I choose to respond or act in it. I am slowly but surely making steps to live my life from a place of love and a place of hope.
After reading the work of Emily Freeman, I noticed that the shift from fear to love is not always easy. Personally, I am moving from a place of blame to a place of understanding especially with those closest to me. I have a worldview that all people are doing the best they can all the time. When I remember this and live from that place, my life is better. I am more compassionate and I look to see their point of view too. I need to believe this and consider the intent rather than the effect. Most people are trying to enjoy their lives and my negativity doesn’t help them or me. My lack in this area comes from the unkind and judging place. Mostly, it comes from the belief that there is not enough. The world is not enough. When really, it is enough. I have enough. I am enough. Part of this means I need to slowly retrain my brain and lean more on my intuition than my learned habit of fear. In the small areas I have made progress my noticeable effect has been more hope and optimism. Rather than looking at my life as a series of problems to be fixed, I am able to be more present and enjoy it for what is. Choosing to love feels tricky. It does not seem to be the default choice for most, but choosing love changes everything. Choosing love, helps us to connect, helps us to trust and helps us to care for others. We are able to get out of our head and realize that our narrative is not the only one. We are able to attach less to outcomes and enjoy the process that is love. So today, and many days to come I am choosing to love and choosing to trust and choosing to let go of fear. I am find as I let go of the future, I am able to embrace the present. I am able to be where I am and God seems to be meeting me there. God is trusting me and loving me and showing me that I can let go of the fear and just exist now and see where it takes me.
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About MeI'm Sarah; a wife, traveler, foodie, and adventurer. Archives
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