I haven’t written here for quite a bit. Life has been hectic to say the least. About a year ago I had a son, and since then life has been moving at a clip that honestly took me by surprise. I have slowly been piecing my life back together, although I am not sure that is an accurate description. My life isn't a puzzle that has distinct pieces coming back although certain things have felt like that, cooking and exercise specifically. I think it is more like a garden. My life is like a garden with areas of new growth and areas of perennials returning after the winter. I have found new depths I didn't know I had and some regeneration or really familiar plants in a new terrain. Everything feels fresh and new and also familiar. I am slowly finding my path to the life I want. I am cultivating again and again. Cultivating for my family and my son, but also for myself. This blog post and this blog in general is something I want to cultivate. I miss writing and I want to have it be a part of my reflective life. I like the format of a blog, the longer post that take conscious effort and typically multiple days to complete. That being said, I also long to be inspired while I write. I want to not box myself in. I will continue blogging when and as I feel actually moved and inspired to do so. I am going on a journey to be true to myself and to figure out what that actually means. I plan on cultivating my life like I would a beautiful garden and that might mean I try things out and share about it here. I hope you enjoy this new format, and a more authentic me.
0 Comments
One of the unexpected things I have noticed in being pregnant is laughing quite a lot more. People always share about pregnancy mood swings, but typically I have heard it referred to in the context of sadness or frustration. I am pleased to say laughing until I cry is something that happens more regularly. I am not sure if this is honestly pregnancy related or that I am simply able to laugh at myself more. I often find things to be humorous when I have misheard or misunderstood or misinterpreted. I am able to laugh and enjoy the moment rather than feeling frustrated at having been confused. The simple things that have made me laugh can be varied, but I really enjoy the ability to let my guard down and just enjoy all the hilarity of life even if it is something that was only real in my head. What has made you laugh lately? I find laughter to be contagious and I am looking for more laughter on a daily basis to help find the joy in all the complexity of life.
Fall has officially started a week or so ago. I have been enjoying a few fall activities here and there. I am curious what are your fall traditions? What do you do to celebrate fall? We have a few small traditions that we typically participate in every year. I have grown to appreciate the fall more and more as time has gone on. We lived in Florida for a few years and I felt like I missed the chill in the air and the changing color of the leaves. When we moved to Iowa, I took the photo below on our drive, just so excited that the leaves would be orange. I have since developed an appreciation of fall, both the cooler weather that allows for more cooking freedom, while not being too hot and as a time of new beginnings and changes. I love to celebrate all fall has to offer me. Cider DonutsOut of all of the things I make, I have yet to make my own cider donuts. If I am honest, I do not really even like cider donuts. My husband thoroughly enjoys them and dunking them into cider. We usually try to find local cider donuts and apple cider as part of our fall traditions. In Connecticut, where we grew up, Iowa, and here in New Hampshire, that means going to a farm stand and picking them out. This year we had the opportunity to try fresh cider donuts, rather than the typical cake like ones coated in cinnamon sugar and to be able to watch the donuts fry up was amazing. We will not see the donuts in the same light. Occasionally this means we also pick up an apple pie or a lot of apples. In the past, we have picked our own apples. I love getting out to see the farms and find that farm stands feel like the embodiment of fall. Look at the changing leavesWe either walk or drive and spend time intentionally looking at the trees and noticing how the leaves change color. We look for bright trees, or yellow trees, or trees that look like sunsets. This is a simple tradition and yet is one I enjoy of just spending time absorbing the world around us. Jump in Crunchy LeavesEven as an adult, when I find a patch of very crunchy leaves I take the time, even if it is a minute or so to stop and jump in the crunchy leaves. I find that it changes my mood and makes me grateful for all I have around me. Sometimes this can be hard to come by depending on the level of rain, but when it happens it just feels like magic. I no longer rake them into piles to do this a shallow layer of leaves does the trick, but as a kid I remember jumping into leaf piles with great abandon. Fall FoodsI typically make a few fall salads every year. I shared them last week here. I also typically test out recipes with fall ingredients, squashes, pumpkins, and apples in particular. I find that celebrating the season with an abundance of new foods makes me feel connected to the world around me. I plan on sharing some of my favorite seasonal desserts as well. If you have any fall recipes you love or traditions please feel free to share them with me because I am always excited to find something new. If you have any fall traditions please share them below. I would love to try out some new ways to celebrate a wonderful time of year.
Last weekend, my husband and I went to a paint bar for our date night. I had never previously been and wasn't sure what to expect. I am aware that the concept of painting along is not new, before they have places for it there was always Bob Ross and The Joy of Painting on PBS. To be perfectly honest, I did not know who Bob Ross was until a year ago when my husband received a Bob Ross Chia Pet. That worked surprisingly well as you can see below. Clearly my knowledge of pop culture is not my greatest strength. I was excited to go and spend an afternoon painting, because I assumed it would be a fun excursion. This was true, but what I did not expect was how intense I would get about the painting in general and how hard it is to add new to something you already enjoy. This painting started with the background, which seemed like a natural place to start. Adding some of these layers were simpler for me than others, but what I struggled the most with was the black trees in the front. The reality is I knew once we got to using the black paint that whatever I put on the canvas was here to stay and would ultimately cover some of the work I had done before. There is something to be said for the ability to willingly forge ahead when you are not sure how your actions will destroy what you have previously done. Life reflected back to me in the creation of art. In life I do tend to forge ahead, trusting that I can always begin again, but in the painting it felt more permanent. The reminder of what had been was present in a way it does not feel present to me in daily life. I am a forward thinking person and I struggle to be present, but I am not often wistful for the past. I enjoy reminiscing, and remembering fun events, but I do not long for it to be now. In painting I was confronted with this idea in a very visceral way. We are a result of our choices, and we can always choose differently, but we still have made those choices. Honestly, when it comes to life I can accept this, but painting was much more of a struggle. One of the things I quickly realized is that a painting is a composite of many parts, I can appreciate one and dislike another. Finding a way to work on the parts that I did not initially enjoy was a challenge. I feared doing too much and not doing enough. I did not have the skill or understanding to know how to improve on the parts I felt did not meet my standards. By the end of the experience I felt my painting was passable and interesting enough even if not how I originally intended. Two lessons emerged from this experience. The first was the fact that my husband is patient and will do anything in his power to help me, even if he is not an expert. When I would get frustrated I would ask for his help and I found he was able to consider what was going on and add productive feedback, and also provide encouragement for me to keep going. I take it for granted what a great partner he is at times and it is moments like this I am quite glad that we are together. I find him to be able to be my better half and he knows what I need even when I sometimes struggle to see it for myself. The second lesson I realized was the fact that I need to get out of my comfort zone more. Doing things that push me helps me to create vivid memories and helps to stretch what I think I am capable of or what I think I can do. I love my routines and my habits, in fact I am considering sharing a few blog posts about some of them if ya'll are interested, but having something novel is a worthwhile endeavor too. As this weekend approaches, I encourage you to get out and explore, try something new and see where it leads you.
The past couple weeks of our lives have been quite busy. We have been filled with preparations and getting things done. I have cleaned, cooked, shopped, and done what needed doing. The past two days have been a time for rest and honestly I can say I needed them. One of the ways God speaks into my life is by suggesting again and again that rest is necessary. We were not meant to work all the time, we were meant to rest. The idea of sabbath is something I have explored in many ways whether that meant slowing down upon entering a new space, or whether that meant taking a full day of doing nothing. I think we can find the rest in the moments and in the days, but we have to look for it. When I think about life, especially in our world of constantly being busy and going places, those are not typically the moments I relish. I find it easy to believe from the internet that people are constantly doing wonderful things all the time. If that is your jam, continue to do it. For me though, that is not my thing. I like my life to have a wide birth, lots of white space with which to enjoy the everyday. I would say it has taken me years to enjoy the space. Many years I tried to escape the space. I tried to fill it with more, more errands and activities, more noise. I would say for us, our lives are at a fairly quiet stage, more so than usual, but with all of the other changes occurring- getting ready for Tiny Human, I think we need the time and space. We need the room to breathe. I need moments without noise, with no podcasts, with no music, with just silence. Moments that allow me to breathe again and to think. My life is not visibly flashy. Aside from some food that will soon be eaten there is not much to visibly show what is occurring, but I feel a deep peacefulness within. I love these days of not tons to do and more time and space to think and allow myself to just me. One of the things I have really taken to heart since being pregnant is listening to my body. I sleep more and take breaks, and eat when I am hungry. I trust that my body knows what it is doing. My body gains peace in the quiet, peace in the stillness, and joy from simply being here in this moment, not looking forward, not planning, but knowing where I am is exactly where I want to be. I do not want more flashy excursions. I do not want a different life, I enjoy mine. I am finding joy in the quiet of mine and the simple ability to trust that everything is as it should be. In the past I may have thought that a quiet life, means I am not motivated, not learning, not challenging myself or pushing hard enough. I think in reality though to sit in the silence takes strength not often considered. If we are constantly running from ourselves we end up exhausted and not being able to take action on the things that need our attention. Our attention is not needed to be in a million places at once. There are many things I am willing to say no to to ensure that my time is really mine. I would urge you to take the time, even if it is a single minute to just sit in silence and see how it feels. See what a little bit of daily space will allow in your life. It may change you in ways you have yet to realize or in ways you won't see for years to come, but I think it is worth it.
Even typing that word makes me cringe.
Why does failure feel so bad? Why do we spend time contemplating and evaluating and feeling bad about what we have done wrong? When it comes to failure, I feel like I fail fairly frequently, but if I am honest most of those failures are low stakes. I make new recipes that don't work, I try new restaurants I don't like. I feel like lately I am not taking a ton of big risks at once. I hate to be honest and admit that, but it is true. We took a risk and moved to New Hampshire and if I am being honest, we think it was mistake. I am not attempting to find a full time job or going back to graduate school, both dreams I have, but both are deferred. In part they are deferred because we do not want to live here and in part they are deferred because of circumstances. We have one car, which would make the navigating of that challenging at best. I am pregnant which would make finding a job more difficult, even though we are supposed to live in a society of equal opportunity employment I do not imagine many people love the idea of hiring someone who will have frequent doctors appointments and will leave when the baby comes. Instead I am in a season of sitting and waiting. If I am going to be frank, I find this to be harder than failing. I think there is a satisfaction that comes with knowing you have tried something. I do not feel that level of satisfaction, really I feel like I am not trying anything other than trying to be present with what is and accept life as it arrives. The lack of motion in my life, with the notable exception of pregnancy, makes me feel like more of a failure than any attempts would. I am not someone who loves to wait. I want to do it all tomorrow and if I have an idea I want to be able to follow through on it now, not after having to wait for it to come to pass. I have come to learn that making all the big decisions at once, does have a price, usually on my body and my sanity. One big decision per year was told to me, and although I think that is good, I do still find it not to be enough. I think I often believe if I just work hard enough everything will turn out the way I hope it is, and in certain areas of life this is true. Life as a whole though is not under my control. I can make decisions that have an impact and influence how it goes, but in reality I am not in charge. Many factors I have no ability to determine at all. I wonder though if this is just what life is a constant form of recalibration. We find the balance between making decisions and accepting life as it occurs. We try to see a way through all the obstacles and barriers between where we are now and where we hope to end up. The reality of it all is that there is no balance no perfect medium. We have to walk each day as best as we are able. We have to accept our failures even if they are in my case failures to act instead of failures that result from action. We all try things that do not work out and we move on, we all wait to try things and wish we had done them sooner or were glad we waited. Time will tell us how each decision or lack of decision will turn out. Failure can be a label we use or it can just be a part of life. We do not have to cringe from the word itself, but rather recognize it as a healthy and normal part of the process. I am working to plan out future content and I figured who better to ask for thoughts than my current readers. What do you prefer I write about? Any topics you want me to cover? Here is what I have mostly written about in the past -food, books and reading, travel, exercise, and my thoughts on life. If you have any specific ideas please share them below. I just went to Japan and could write about that experience, I could also review local restaurants. I am working on more food and recipe posts but because I do not have an infinite budget and testing takes me quite a bit of time until I get it right, I do not share recipes daily, it just does not currently work for me, but I can work on specific recipes or share what I am cooking or working on? I also can share about other food or book related topics or about my life in general, just let me know below in the comments and I will work on it in coming weeks. Any questions you want answers to or want me to look into, please leave them in the comments below!
Ever felt fed up by trying to find the tool you need but overwhelmed by clutter. Here are ways to clear space and create a kitchen you love. There are many things that may not be for me but are for you so as you read this keep that in mind. Not working for me does not mean it won't work for you. Here are things that I do not have or do in the kitchen:
What are things you avoid or ways you try to keep your kitchen a place that you love?
Does baking bread intimidate you? It really doesn't have to and I have some resources that can help. I have been making bread for a few years. In college, my final roommate baked bread and it inspired me to try, before then I had only made yeasted rolls. I would be lying if I said my bread was always great, I had many loaves that were undercooked and inedible. After college, I took a few years before I started baking again. I checked out Baking with Julia from the library and started baking bread in Florida. I found the most challenging part finding the ingredients. The breads in that book required many trips to stores and were eventually acquired at a local beer-making store. Next I started with a sourdough starter my mother in law bought me for my birthday. I tested all the King Arthur recipes that came with it, some had better results than others. What I found to be most helpful and free when I was getting started was this blog, The Fresh Loaf. Specifically this guide helped me to understand the steps of bread making and make my attempts at the other loaves better. What has really been a game changer started with this recipe, also free online. I found this to be the best loaf I had made at the time, the photos and descriptions were also quite helpful. In reality though now the best loaf I have made has been from the book Tartine Bread. I have found it to be simple to follow and also gives me the irregular crumb structure I am looking for me inside my loaves. If you have made bread, what resources do you find useful? I am always looking for new ideas and any suggestions would be great. Right now I am testing out varieties of bread with different grains and I am excited to see the results.
I love to use this as an opportunity to reflect on what is amazing in my life each week. I hope you use this to do the same and share what amazing things are going on in your life below. MeatballsI made my tried and true meatball recipe last week for my husband's work and we had some before they were taken in. I have to say I forget how much I love them until I make them and I am reminded again and again how delicious they really are. The pan is a mess because this was the last of four batches all made on the pan, but also because that is how real life goes. Also yes, they are stuffed with mozzarella. LaughterOne of the things I have noticed in pregnancy is I am genuinely laughing more and tend to be more jovial. I basically a few times a week will laugh until I cry. I thoroughly enjoy this and find it to be good for the mind and the soul. I also feel like I am either funnier or just willing to engage with humor more and I am willing to laugh at myself. I love this perk and hope it continues after I have given birth. Positive PeopleThis week I met a woman who was the most positive. I have not spoken to someone so positive in quite a while and I found it gave me hope, peace, and a deep sense of calm. I am so glad to have met her and our brief interaction really made an impression upon me and reminded me that we make the choices as to who we want to be. I am choosing to be positive and I really feel like it makes all the difference. MinimalismI have written about my journey to have a little less here. I will at some point write a dedicated post on minimalism. One of the things I love about it is how simple it makes having guests at our home. We have less to clean and everything is organized and in it's place. I find myself more peaceful and less stressed at the prospect of having someone to my house which makes me willing to have people more. All of this makes my daily life easier, but I am surprised at how it makes special occasions easier as well. NapsI am not a huge napper. I am typically not a fan, but I have to say listening to your body in terms of sleep just makes so much sense. I am not eating to stay awake but rather am giving my body what it needs to be at it's best. I have not taken many, but I hope the one I took this weekend will remind me to nap more and that it really is what I need.
What are you loving this week? Please share below. |
About MeI'm Sarah; a wife, traveler, foodie, and adventurer. Archives
October 2019
Categories
All
|