Although I have not written about reading in a bit, I have still been reading. I am going to share quick reviews on my best recent reads. The major theme of these books is introspection. I have been delving deep and considering how I live, most of these books reflect that. Silence: In the Age of Noise by Erling Kagge- In this book, Erling Kagge reflects on silence and its implications in our fast paced world. Kagge traveled through Antarctica by himself. He considers the larger world effects of silence as a modern commodity only achieved by the wealthy, but also simpler ways we can rethink silence. I really appreciated how he incorporates work of other thinkers and helped me to be more aware of its role in my life. Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet by Sara Hagerty- I really enjoyed this book and considered how Hagerty's relationship with God grew. Hagerty writes in a raw and authentic way about how dealing with many years of infertility influenced her idea of being blessed or cursed. She then reconsiders her relationship with God as transactional and learns to trust God through the years of struggle. I really found her book to be inspired and helped me to consider how my relationship with God works and to give me the push to consider a more personal religious relationship. Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves to Be Noticed by Sara Hagerty- I read this one prior to Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet. I enjoyed this one more. I found her idea of reconsidering our moments of hiddenness to be inspiring. I also personally saw connections between her being hidden to my work with meditation and finding God in the spaces that might not feel intentional or purposeful. I would highly recommend this one. Chasing Slow by Erin Loechner- I started reading this around the same time I started The Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window and Disappeared and was surprised by how similar the covers were when placed side by side. I am sure this is coincidence and I might not have noticed it had my husband not pointed it out. In this memoir, Loechner describes how she shifted her life from chasing more to chasing less towards working on letting go, and not trying to chase at all. I struggled with the beginning because I found her hard to connect with, but as I continued to read I felt her story became more authentic and I was able to find points of connection. This book made me reconsider ways we interact with each other on the internet and elsewhere. I also found it useful to just give me a new lens for seeing the world around me.
Any reading suggestions? I am currently looking for more so any ideas would be great!
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I should start by saying, I love flying. I feel like being in an airplane is magic. I can see the whole world from my window. I am still amazed at our ability to fly places.
That being said, I know most people find flying to be frustrating, annoying, cramped and uncomfortable. Although I cannot help with creating more space in your seat, I have a few tips that work for me to make flying more enjoyable.
Something I have been considering recently is how I have a tendency to reduce myself. I am not sure if I would refer to it this way, but this is what happens. I seek to find myself and to do that I work to discover a number of metrics, what is my style type, what is my Meyers-Briggs, what is my Enneagram, am I an introvert or an extrovert? The problem is that although I can gather data about myself, what do I come away with? Does putting myself into a box really help me know who I am?
I am not someone who likes limits. I do not like the idea that I am incapable of something and I tend to push things to the extremes. I do not like boxing myself in. The hardest part about attempting to box myself in is realizing that I do not fit. None of those categories fit me, none of them solve me, none of them can encompass the entirety that is me. Then I feel lost, because the rules of the system say I am one thing and that that one thing never changes. The sad thing is that it isn't true, I change, my test results do not fit into one of the categories. This makes me feel more alone and confused, because in a rigid system with concrete rules there is no space for me. I seek to find myself in metrics because if I could just box myself in I would believe that I have figured out the secret. My life would magically change overnight and it all would be able to be understood and rationalized. I am not sure that this exists. Life is a spectrum, most of the time your whole life doesn't change over night. Even if it seems like it does, sometimes it takes years to really pick up the pieces and see what happened all the small steps that led to the result. Living in a life that is more nuanced is challenging, it means recognizing that I am different and that I change, probably more than I recognize. This means I cannot dismiss things, I have to be more engaged and I cannot find a quick fix. I have to do the work of digging deep and figuring out what it looks like for me, which will probably be completely different from everyone else. This means again saying, I will be different and accepting that difference. As a society conformity is the norm, being able to put people in boxes makes things easier in the short term. Why take the effort to know someone when you have a handy idea of who you think they are? The reality though is the odds of us even being born are incredible. I need to start realizing that and acting accordingly, do the things that are uniquely me, accepting that I change and being okay with the imperfect mess that is life. This is needless to say a constant struggle. But, whoever said it would be easy? Are any of the worthwhile things easy? I decided to start this month/finish the last month with a day of dairy free eating. I attempted this first on the 31st of March only to last like 12 hours and then caved to the call of pizza. So, I tried again on the first of April and succeeded. I am not planning on being dairy free as a lifestyle choice, I love cheese and dairy too much to want to give them up forever. I decided to skip out on dairy because I have been feeling sick and congested and I wanted to see if it would help me feel better. It did a little, but it was not a magical cure-all that I had hoped it would be. This is one of those instances that I let my expectations get the better of me. Tips for Eating Dairy Free -Keep your reason in mind -Plan ahead so hunger is not driving your decision making -Consider cuisines that are typically dairy free- Chinese, Japanese, that way you are not trying to imitate something you know would taste better with dairy -Consider the creamy factor and other foods that can provide that- i.e. avocado, peanut butter, coconut milk, runny egg yolks -Make sure you have food that tastes good, properly spiced or still satisfying (umami- soy sauce/coconut aminos, balsamic vinegar or tomato paste) -Make substitutions as needed- other fats for butter, almond milk for milk etc. -Realize that sometimes it will not be the same, but know your tastebuds adjust and will change.
When I started actively cultivating my life, I became more aware of my self-deceptions. This awareness gave me the opportunity to do something about it, and I have chosen to make changes in my life that reflect that. One of the things I have realized since focusing on my love of food is that I think food can do more than it actually can. I believe food can make me feel comfort, can make me feel better, can cure a headache and basically just improves my life. Now in certain realms this is true, but I do not want to live a life where I am numbing myself with food, I want to experience all life has to offer good and bad. I know this lesson to some degree, but as I continue being aware I notice its influence in different ways. I first had to recognize that food can only cure hunger and nothing else. I then became more aware of it when cooking food that I ate growing up in my childhood, particularly brownies and lasagna. I made it following the same method as my mother and it didn't taste the same. At first I though it was because I had done something wrong, but then my husband said to me "It's the people, not the food." The food of my childhood tasted so amazing because of the memories associated with it. The people I ate it with, and the safe and inviting atmosphere. I relied on those family dinners more than I was aware at the time. This is often why food I eat with others is tinged with awe, I love the experience of being with people who I love and care about and my joy influences my feelings about the food. Now, I am not someone who believes that awful food can be made up for with good people, but good food becomes amazing in the presence of people who love and care about you. In that form food is a sign of love, the food cannot substitute for love, but it is a sign of caring and compassion.
This was reminded to me again today. We went to church and another couple had made us food to take home, my entire mood shifted and I became appreciative and loved in a way I always do when someone takes the time to cook for me and to care for me in that way. I am sure this is a reminder that I will need often and frequently, not to substitute food for the people. My theme for April is to challenge myself. I want to attempt things that take a little more effort and push me out of my comfort zone. I want to try new activities, join new groups and do things I am not sure about. I think pushing out of what is comfortable will lead to growth.
I am starting this today by not eating any dairy. I will write more about the why and how of that later. I started to do more things I love last month, and I plan on bringing that into this month. I still sometimes struggle with letting myself find the joy in simple things and not having to defend or justify my actions. I will continue to work on that as a way to challenge myself. I challenge me to have more fun and worry less. I think this happiness project is a way for me to get back in touch, for me to find what brings me happiness and see how that can be a part of my day to day life. Happy April! (the best thing for April Fool's that I have seen thus far is on Google Maps) I love new months and new beginnings and for me this is both. A point to refresh and reflect, to consider the past and how I want to move forward. |
About MeI'm Sarah; a wife, traveler, foodie, and adventurer. Archives
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