Salad season has arrived. Spring is happening and we are surrounded with an abundance of fresh produce. The perfect conditions for salads. I eat salads, not to be healthy, but because they are refreshing and delicious. I am telling you right now, the following salad dressing recipe is the epitome of delicious, NOT the epitome of health. My husband and I ate this particular dressing in a chicken Caesar salad. If you want an idea of how to serve it here is what I did. I butterflied a chicken breast, seasoned with salt, pepper and garlic powder. I cooked the chicken in a sauté pan over medium heat with nonstick spray. The chicken breast cooked through in a few minutes, but I needed to cover it to get the inside to cook through without burning the edges. I then proceeded to make some homemade croutons. I had previously chopped and washed some romaine lettuce. I added some sliced cherry tomatoes and a shaved parmesan mix. This salad was yummy and delicious, my husband and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The dressing makes more than enough for a few salads. This recipe was adapted from Chrissy Teigen's Cravings cookbook. Caesar Salad Dressing
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Those who know me well know that I am not a particularly patriotic person. I have not always been proud to be an American nor have I agreed with all the decisions we have made. I have been a reluctant American. I have come to realize what a luxury this is. I can speak my mind at no consequence. Also as I have started to travel I have come to appreciate America more. I appreciate what I have here. My level of comfort and familiarity my ease in going about the world. I know as a country we have some work to do. I know even as a person I have some (quite a bit of) work to do. I am realizing though how lucky I am. I am sure if I moved overseas I would find a way. I would cultivate familiarity and learn customs learn the language, but as it stands right now I really love America. I could write a litany of all the work to be done or try to clearly enumerate the changes that I wish would be made. Part of me also just wants to slow down and take the time to see the good where it is. So rather than a list of complaints I’m going to share with you a list of gratitude, particularly gratitude regarding America.
I am grateful for:
This is one of the first months since I have started writing about what I have read recently where I realized that I have not a single book to share. Instead of sharing a book I have loved this month I am on the lookout for recommendations. I am open to a variety of genres and styles, but prefer lighter books, with the exception of memoirs then I do not might sad or hard. Please share below any recommendations and I will try them out!
Lately, I have been considering labels. We are more than the sum of our labels. We are complex people with diverse interests, ideas and areas of expertise. As my husband and I have been on our road trip, I have been forced to confront areas of discomfort. Although I have some grasp of French, I do not understand it when it is spoken quickly. I find the more I do things that make me uncomfortable the less challenging they are. I again find myself searching for labels wanting to call myself adventurous but realizing there are limits to that adventurous spirit. I’m starting to see that as much as we know each other there are always areas of surprise and intrigue. My husband and I have been together for over ten years and still when we get in the car we have things to say. We do not stay static, but are ever changing and our different experiences and perspectives make discussions interesting. One of the reasons I like to travel is that I like to see the world anew. For this same reason I love information and reading. I find learning about new topics helps me broaden or shift my perspective even if for a moment.
In the past few years, I have read quite a few self-help and related books. When I sat down to count, in the past 6 years I have read more than 60 books that connect to the topic of self help. I didn’t think it would be that many, a majority were read in the past three years. I was surprised by the number of these books I have actually read. I do not consider myself an expert but if you are looking for some new books and/or are on a journey to better/improve yourself I do have some thoughts. When I start to mentally take into account the types of self help books I have read they fall into a few categories (with some overlap) perspective shifting, research-based psychology books, memoir, and spiritual based books. I can share with you what I have read and what has helped me, but if I am going to be honest books are not the thing that has helped the most. What has most shifted my perspective is reflecting upon my life. I have been more open to the thoughts of others and willing to see a new point of view. By doing that more than anything else I have changed my life because I have become more aware. It is easy to think that books are the answer. I do enjoy reading them, but I have come to learn that a book will not fix anything on its own. The following are the ones I would recommend, but with the caveat that they are books and unless you choose to change and try new ways of doing things, reading a book will change nothing. Also I think we often turn to books to be the one answer, not considering if they are right for us or reflect how we see the world.
Perspective Shifting
I’m a big talker. I love speaking with others. I love connecting and learning and thinking in conjunction with others. As we become more gadget-ed up, it seems that conversing is getting lost. We feel the pull to be plugged in, to know it all, to be aware and correct and informed about all things. I myself have been guilty of googling a fact or many. The more we do this though the less connected we are to those around us, we look at our phones rather than the people we are talking to, we dump rather than converse. We say all our things rather than wanting to learn from those around us and we doubt rather than trusting their knowledge. I find it hard when our goal is to be the most right person in the room, we lose our ability to consider others. We are so busy planning and thinking how we can respond and dominate the conversation. We lose true connection.
When having a conversation it is important to listen to the other person almost more than we talk, to realize when they ask us a question it usually has more to do with where they are coming from, their thoughts and themselves that it does to do with us. We benefit from a true back and forth and I have found the more I listen the more people have to say. They have stories to share and things to do. We do not take time to share and hear and listen. We start to assume we know what someone else will say and we resort to competing monologues. We also imitate each other quite a lot. I notice when I am around people on their phones, I am more likely to take mine out and follow suit. I need to be reminded to stay the course, to do what I know is right and not to hide in my technology but to be present with the people I am with. Our time is precious, we are not guaranteed one more second, we lose our time by planning and focusing and being distracted, but we can never get this moment back. I want to take back the conversation, to take back quality time. I want us to really spend time hearing each other, not just commenting our preconceived thought. I care about our humanity and staying connected. I love spending time with friends and enjoying discussions, where we are not sure how it will end, where we are not entrenched in our opinions, where we are willing to learn and see each other for who we are. I think our lives and our ability to connect is worth more than our achievement or our productivity. I am all for conversing and it is time for me to put down the phone and see the moment for what it is, fleeting, precious and here. Living Closer To FamilyLiving in New Hampshire means we are only a three hours drive from family where we had previously been 24 hours drive from family. I am glad this weekend that when something came up we were able to drive down and be with those we love. Movie Theater PopcornThis past week we went to more movies than we have in probably the last three years combined. We saw two movies in theaters in two days. At both movies we got popcorn. I know movie theater popcorn is not natural or healthy, but as a treat I think it is quite delicious. Local EventsThis weekend we went to a local minor league baseball game and I forgot how fun it was to go to a game and sit in the mostly empty stands and just enjoy. The last time we went to a baseball game we were in Florida, so this time I was shocked to actually feel cold as the night wore on. After the game they shot off fireworks and I have to say I just enjoyed the fun of the whole thing. One of the benefits to moving frequently is that you are able to treat where you live like a tourist would and take part in events you might not if you had lived there your whole life. Visiting FamilyOne of the things I am most looking forward to is going to visit family this weekend. We are flying to go see my family and I have been counting down the days. I do think one benefit to living farther away is that you make the most of every trip and you really look forward to each visit. Simple FoodLately I have been enjoying simple food, things that do not take tons of time to cook. As we prepare for our trip, I am really glad to not have tons of things to cook or prep and that dinner and meals are just simple and easy for the time being.
What are you loving this Thursday? What small or big things are making your life better? As someone who moves around a lot, I struggle with a sense of being settled. My husband and I have made three major moves from Connecticut to Florida and Florida to Iowa and Iowa to New Hampshire. We have not stayed in the same place for long.
One of my close friends endearingly refers to us as nomads. We pick up and move. I have struggled to find roots in a new place where we have no connections. As you can probably guess by now, I love relationships and I think connection is the reason I am here. I have spent the last nearly two weeks last year with my mother and sister in Maine. As a child, I came here every summer. We at one point owned a house here, a house that is no more. Being here makes me feel a connection, I have stories and memories associated with being here. I grew up here. My life has changed since then some for the better and some for the worse. I sit on the beach and I just come alive, I feel like the ocean is a part of who I am and I treat any chance to be near it as a minor miracle. I love looking out into the sea and feeling so small. One thing I have noticed about being here is other people. I have witnessed moments of connection, a waiter high five a girl about her pancakes, a husband pulling his wife to safety with a smile on his face indicating how typical this is, and a boy with cherry juice dried on his chin mid-hike. I witness the best of humanity in people I do not know and probably will never meet. I have changed and become less jaded since I was here last. On walks I used to say some variation of Hi, Hello or Good Morning to a half dozen people. Those who I didn’t greet with words I greeted with a smile. I do have a sense of place in Iowa, but these moments give me hope that we can find the best of humanity if we are willing to look, to see, and to witness. I may be a nomad or I may settle, but no matter what I know a sense of place takes time, it takes years and memories and exploration. I know I can do that. I also know that it isn’t the place itself that is special but rather the memories and the feelings. Yes, the ocean may always speak to me, but so does the big sky in Iowa. Everywhere has something to love and someone to love, friends. Seeing the connections there even among strangers makes me realize we are more connected than we think. We have more in common than we believe and we can see the best if we are willing to look.
Occasionally as I am reading a set of books I notice a theme that wasn’t intentional but is interesting nonetheless.
One theme has been books that connect to the idea of war in some way.
I started with the memoir An American Family, which is the tale of a father whose son enters the military and spoiler alert-he dies when he is in active duty. This book helped to give me a new respect for people in the military and their families. The way the father tells the story is heartbreaking and really gives you a greater picture of how death affects all involved. On audio this book is especially moving because it is read by the author.
Then I moved onto The Song of Achilles. This is a modern retelling of The Iliad from the point of view of Patroclus. The perspective that this book gave me was to question why we value some lives over others and is it really just to assume that the lives we care about actually matter more.
Meanwhile I was reading the entirety of the Red Rising series which is a dystopian series that takes place in space. The first book in the series feels like The Hunger Games meets Ender’s Game with a touch of Game of Thrones, so clearly all the games. The series deals with war and how it affects all involved. It considers how people change and what is the true cost of war. Like most dystopian novels I always wonder if what they are destroying is being replaced with anything better.
Next I started on a classics binge. I started with The Iliad because I felt The Song Of Achilles had given me context. The Iliad made me consider how we interpret honor and what is truly worth dying for. Many of the characters in The Iliad want an honorable death, meaning they die in combat. The other consideration it brought up for me was the idea of what is the point, why are we all killing people someone else loves and is it worth it. Taken in historical context their need for honor and glory make sense as a way to gain fame. By dying in battle they will be remembered for years to come as they certainly are in The Iliad.
From there I moved onto The Odyssey. The Odyssey discusses Odysseus’ journey home after the Trojan war. I found this an interesting juxtaposition to An American Family because this book seemed to address how war affects families and people who are not there. This book also reconsiders the idea of an honorable death and speaks more to the idea of life no matter how insignificant.
Then to round out the bunch, I started reading The Aeneid, which feels quite similar to The Odyssey but involves fighting more wars post the Trojan war as a way to follow fate and settle in a new area. In this book war is a necessary evil, but also it is shown to be desired by the young men and that the older men are more hesitant and wary. Any incidental themes in your reading? I started drafting a post on my favorite self help books. In the past year or two I have read numerous books on how we can change ourselves. I have made some drastic changes and for me in times of change I hunker down and find my resources. I read and explore and fill myself with information until I am ready to be a part of the world again. I say this dramatically, I am not a recluse nor do I avoid social interactions, but the focus of my days is drawing in and reassessing. In the past, this has been a time of excessive planning and creating expectations. This time was different because I am not seeking a new expectation or a new idea to change my world. I have realized that one idea cannot do that. If I want lasting change it takes time, subtle work and study into how my brain is responding and attempts to shift my way of thinking.
For me gathering information is a huge part of this process. I read quite a bit. I listen to audiobooks in the car and I almost always have a book with me. I know though it doesn’t matter as much what I am reading as it matters how I am reading it. If I am all in and searching for meaning I find many books even not specifically labeled as such. I think about books for that ‘help’ for a while afterwards they inform my worldview and help me think differently. When I live my life, I become more aware and curious. I love information I enjoy gathering resources and learning about the world. I absorb much of what I read and it informs my worldview and my opinions. This can come in the form of books or TED talks or even television. I know that I am highly influenceable and so I am cautious in what I consume. I avoid materials that are labeled and ‘horror’ or things that are too much, but aside from that I will read about almost any nonfiction topic. All of this informs my worldview and allows me to change it, to shift, to be more understanding and patient. My husband is the one who when I was writing a post on self help books (that I haven’t published yet) said that for me every book is a self help book. Each book shifts my view and makes me see the world through a different lens as a way to consider how we affect each other and how I can be a better neighbor. |
About MeI'm Sarah; a wife, traveler, foodie, and adventurer. Archives
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